Thank you to everyone who has been checking up on me the past few weeks. I've been seriously slacking off lately. I don't know if it's the chemo or what, but I get so easily distracted lately (my nurse called it 'chemo brain'). Either way, that's what I'll blame it on.
So my last treatment went SO much better. All the little things that they changed up on my treatment seemed to help. I wasn't taking naps on the kitchen floor, I was remembering to eat, I had an appetite. In fact, after the usual 3 or 4 days of non-stop sleep, I seemed to have bounced back much quicker and was back at the gym 5 days after treatment.
I had a CAT scan the other week to monitor my progress, and although it's not the best indicator to see if I'm in remission, it didn't indicate any disease progression. I was so relieved and encouraged. That news gave me a 2nd wind to get through the next 4 - 6 weeks (I was about to give up after round 3). I cried in my car afterwards because I was so happy. I just know in my heart that this will work.
Treatment 5 will be next Thursday. Till then I have 2 midterms, and need to seriously catch up on, and get ahead of, my studies.
My baby boo is coming out here in 2 weeks, which I'm SO excited about. We're planning to go to the Austin Rodeo one night, which should be interesting. Their claim to fame is being the 6th largest rodeo in America...ok. Entertainment is going to be Boys Like Girls....who? But I'll take it, since I'm missing the Houston Rodeo this year. I love me some bronco riders ;-) Other than a secret date night that I have planned, I have a feeling we're going to eat like piggies and watch "Toddlers & Tiaras" marathons.
I also want to mention that I'm so happy with my treatment center. My oncologist is a bit of a dud, but everyone who works at Texas Oncology is amazing. All the nurses, support staff, pharmacists, etc know me by name and know my whole situation. In these times where medical service is going to crap, it's encouraging to know that there are folks out there who truly care and act as my own personal cheerleading team everytime I'm there..
Till next time.....
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
O.M.G.
Hi All,
All I have to say is Oh...My....God. I had my 3rd chemo treatment last Thursday and it totally kicked my butt. A lot. Absolutely miserable.
It was so deceptive. I went in, had a great meeting with my oncologist. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and was super ready to conquer another treatment.
Almost immediately I could tell that something was different. Man, this time around, I could barely keep my head up it made me so weak. I would've loved to sleep through the whole thing, except I ended up having my own personal summer and started dripping in sweat. I felt bad for the infusion nurse. They're always so concerned about you being comfortable, passing out snacks, drinks, etc. Well, every time I fell asleep, he would swing by with warmed up blankets which would make me get drenched in sweat. I almost wanted buckets of ice to put my hands and feet in. The nausea also kicked in almost immediately as well. My family brought in Schlotsky's for lunch, and let's just say I probably will never have a Schlotsky's sandwich every again. Blechhhh!
I also couldn't get how everyone else was just chillaxin' and looking like they were getting spa treatments and I was this hot, sweaty mess. I'm sure next time they'll have to put me in a room so I don't freak out the other patients.
The whole thing was really discouraging, especially since I had been able to handle my last 2 treatments like a breeze. Now when I think about going back, i get sick to my stomach. It's really scary. My infusion nurse told me it'll probably keep getting worse.
This past week was also a challenge...I was pretty much in bed non-stop for about 6 days. I did manage to make it to school for 2 days, and looking back, I don't know how I pulled it together to make that happen.
Anyways, I'm 1/2 way through my treatments, but I am really concerned about making it through the next 3. When I went for a checkup yesterday, just driving into the garage made me super ill just thinking about it. But, the oncologist nurse has come up with a great plan that includes extra nausea medication, a re-hydration IV the day after, and a strong prescription for atavan. I"m keeping my fingers crossed that this will help.
In 2 weeks, I have a CT scan to see if treatment is actually working. I'm trying super hard not to think about it. My medical team doesn't anticipate anything showing up on it and have been super positive, but there's still a part of me that questions what happens if they continue to see lesions and cancerous cells. Oh well, I have 2 weeks not to think about it, then hello xanax ;-)
Thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, and texted the past week. I know I haven't been able to respond right away to everyone, but I want y'all to know that your messages definitely have not fallen on deaf ears.
Till next time!
xoxo
All I have to say is Oh...My....God. I had my 3rd chemo treatment last Thursday and it totally kicked my butt. A lot. Absolutely miserable.
It was so deceptive. I went in, had a great meeting with my oncologist. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and was super ready to conquer another treatment.
Almost immediately I could tell that something was different. Man, this time around, I could barely keep my head up it made me so weak. I would've loved to sleep through the whole thing, except I ended up having my own personal summer and started dripping in sweat. I felt bad for the infusion nurse. They're always so concerned about you being comfortable, passing out snacks, drinks, etc. Well, every time I fell asleep, he would swing by with warmed up blankets which would make me get drenched in sweat. I almost wanted buckets of ice to put my hands and feet in. The nausea also kicked in almost immediately as well. My family brought in Schlotsky's for lunch, and let's just say I probably will never have a Schlotsky's sandwich every again. Blechhhh!
I also couldn't get how everyone else was just chillaxin' and looking like they were getting spa treatments and I was this hot, sweaty mess. I'm sure next time they'll have to put me in a room so I don't freak out the other patients.
The whole thing was really discouraging, especially since I had been able to handle my last 2 treatments like a breeze. Now when I think about going back, i get sick to my stomach. It's really scary. My infusion nurse told me it'll probably keep getting worse.
This past week was also a challenge...I was pretty much in bed non-stop for about 6 days. I did manage to make it to school for 2 days, and looking back, I don't know how I pulled it together to make that happen.
Anyways, I'm 1/2 way through my treatments, but I am really concerned about making it through the next 3. When I went for a checkup yesterday, just driving into the garage made me super ill just thinking about it. But, the oncologist nurse has come up with a great plan that includes extra nausea medication, a re-hydration IV the day after, and a strong prescription for atavan. I"m keeping my fingers crossed that this will help.
In 2 weeks, I have a CT scan to see if treatment is actually working. I'm trying super hard not to think about it. My medical team doesn't anticipate anything showing up on it and have been super positive, but there's still a part of me that questions what happens if they continue to see lesions and cancerous cells. Oh well, I have 2 weeks not to think about it, then hello xanax ;-)
Thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, and texted the past week. I know I haven't been able to respond right away to everyone, but I want y'all to know that your messages definitely have not fallen on deaf ears.
Till next time!
xoxo
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Yawn
I was doing so well for a couple of days. I was out there doin' it, but today after getting my head freshly shorn, I completely dropped out. After lunch I felt like I got hit by a ton of bricks and quickly realized, whether I liked it or not, that it was naptime.
Naptime=4 hours
But everyone should be proud...I'm listening to my body instead of fighting it. There's always tomorrow to get things done.
Speaking of which, I mentioned in my last post about a new bump under one of my armpits. I decided to go ahead and make an appointment to meet with my oncologist tomorrow. I was thinking about it and thought it was weird that it would present itself when the point of chemo is to prevent these sort of occurrences. So that's on the agenda for tomorrow.
Also, my best friend texted me today about Michael C Hall, one of my favorite actors, currently on "Dexter"(which I'm obsessed with). Apparently he has lymphoma...but I can't find any specifics on what type. But nevertheless, the news I could find was encouraging and bolstered my confidence that my treatment will work. He's in remission and by all accounts has beaten it.
I'm super eager to start school next week. It'll be nice to have something to occupy my time. I've also been sending out inquiries for internships at local hospitals and specialized personal training facilities that cater to medical exercise, disease management, cancer survivorship, and cardiac rehab. It's a little late in the game, but hopefully I can get hooked up with a great mentor and start gaining some practical experience.
4 hour naptime=reward
reward=a pan of brownies
with that being said...i'm signing. those brownies won't bake themselves and the sooner they're done the sooner i can begin an oink fest.
xoxoxoxo
Naptime=4 hours
But everyone should be proud...I'm listening to my body instead of fighting it. There's always tomorrow to get things done.
Speaking of which, I mentioned in my last post about a new bump under one of my armpits. I decided to go ahead and make an appointment to meet with my oncologist tomorrow. I was thinking about it and thought it was weird that it would present itself when the point of chemo is to prevent these sort of occurrences. So that's on the agenda for tomorrow.
Also, my best friend texted me today about Michael C Hall, one of my favorite actors, currently on "Dexter"(which I'm obsessed with). Apparently he has lymphoma...but I can't find any specifics on what type. But nevertheless, the news I could find was encouraging and bolstered my confidence that my treatment will work. He's in remission and by all accounts has beaten it.
I'm super eager to start school next week. It'll be nice to have something to occupy my time. I've also been sending out inquiries for internships at local hospitals and specialized personal training facilities that cater to medical exercise, disease management, cancer survivorship, and cardiac rehab. It's a little late in the game, but hopefully I can get hooked up with a great mentor and start gaining some practical experience.
4 hour naptime=reward
reward=a pan of brownies
with that being said...i'm signing. those brownies won't bake themselves and the sooner they're done the sooner i can begin an oink fest.
xoxoxoxo
Friday, January 8, 2010
BRRRRR....
it's cold in here...must be something in the atmosphere...i said brrrr....oh we oh we oh...ice ice ice
it's so freakin' cold in Austin. it's just not right. i'm definitely "california dreamin".
so it's been about a week and a half since my 2nd treatment and everything was pretty much the same as the first. the only thing that's really different is that i'm a lot more lethargic than i was the first time around. it's very frustrating, especially since i feel like i need to build up my strength again before my next treatment. my only goal for tomorrow is to go to the gym - whether it kills me or not.
i found a new lymphoma lump in one of my armpits. it's super tiny and hasn't grown much in the past week...so we're taking a "wait and see" approach since chemo's goal is to shrink it. it's really not worth having to go through another surgery. it was still kind of a bummer to discover it though :-( but i'm trying to stay optimistic, especially considering that my PET scan revealed 2 other lesions that have yet to present themselves, which shows that treatment is doing something right.
things that help nausea: anti-nausea medication (yay for modern science), hot tea, anything with ginger (ginger pills, ginger snaps, ginger ale), spliff (the miracle answer to nausea and loss of appetite).
in the past week i've received all these hand-knitted hats from various people....lol. i think it's super funny. for the next 3 months i'll be wandering around with craft projects on my head. i love it, though. it's totally appreciated...my noggin does get cold.
had the best Xmas/New Year's present ever, which lasted a week...a visit from someone special. i couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year. we ate, slept, visited the LBJ Library, ate, slept, saw Avatar in 3-d on an Imax screen, ate, slept, ate, slept, saw It's complicate, ate, slept, watched Little Miss Perfect marathons, ate, slept. it totally took my mind off of everything.
i have one more week before school starts up again...which i'm really looking forward to. it'll be a good excuse to get my tooshy moving again.
thank you to everyone that's been checking in on me. the next "event" is scheduled for 1/21.
it's so freakin' cold in Austin. it's just not right. i'm definitely "california dreamin".
so it's been about a week and a half since my 2nd treatment and everything was pretty much the same as the first. the only thing that's really different is that i'm a lot more lethargic than i was the first time around. it's very frustrating, especially since i feel like i need to build up my strength again before my next treatment. my only goal for tomorrow is to go to the gym - whether it kills me or not.
i found a new lymphoma lump in one of my armpits. it's super tiny and hasn't grown much in the past week...so we're taking a "wait and see" approach since chemo's goal is to shrink it. it's really not worth having to go through another surgery. it was still kind of a bummer to discover it though :-( but i'm trying to stay optimistic, especially considering that my PET scan revealed 2 other lesions that have yet to present themselves, which shows that treatment is doing something right.
things that help nausea: anti-nausea medication (yay for modern science), hot tea, anything with ginger (ginger pills, ginger snaps, ginger ale), spliff (the miracle answer to nausea and loss of appetite).
in the past week i've received all these hand-knitted hats from various people....lol. i think it's super funny. for the next 3 months i'll be wandering around with craft projects on my head. i love it, though. it's totally appreciated...my noggin does get cold.
had the best Xmas/New Year's present ever, which lasted a week...a visit from someone special. i couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year. we ate, slept, visited the LBJ Library, ate, slept, saw Avatar in 3-d on an Imax screen, ate, slept, ate, slept, saw It's complicate, ate, slept, watched Little Miss Perfect marathons, ate, slept. it totally took my mind off of everything.
i have one more week before school starts up again...which i'm really looking forward to. it'll be a good excuse to get my tooshy moving again.
thank you to everyone that's been checking in on me. the next "event" is scheduled for 1/21.
Monday, December 28, 2009
2 down, 4 more to got
after a wonderful xmas holiday in houston, it was back to the business at hand. i had my 2nd chemo treatment today. my doctor, and nurses, were very happy with how i handled the first round. according to dr. kasper that's a good indicator of how i'll react to future treatments.
my bloodwork is still coming back as strong and healthy, with the exception of slight anemia - which explains why i've been getting winded so easily lately. at least it gives me a good excuse as to why my already lackluster housekeeping skills are slacking off.
they were able to speed up the rate of the IV, so instead of being stuck there for 6 hours, they were able to shorten it to 5. it's just an hour less, but the less i have to be there, the happier boy i am.
things that occupied my time during treatment: blissing out to Donna de Lory's "The Lover and the Beloved" (Donna was one of Madonna's longtime back-up dancers), reading "A Single Man" by Christopher Isherwood (tom ford just made this into a movie, but i want to read the book first), listening to Wanda Sykes' "Sick & Tired". and a lunch visit from my good friend Earnest who's visiting from Minneapolis.
So far no sickness...but i'm super pooped tonight. i barely have any interest in reaching for the clicker for the tv, so you know i must be tired. i guess it's gonna have to be another marathon night of golden girls.
i'm hoping it doesn't last too long though, my boo is coming in from LA on Wednesday....I'm so excited my tail is wagging.
till next time...
my bloodwork is still coming back as strong and healthy, with the exception of slight anemia - which explains why i've been getting winded so easily lately. at least it gives me a good excuse as to why my already lackluster housekeeping skills are slacking off.
they were able to speed up the rate of the IV, so instead of being stuck there for 6 hours, they were able to shorten it to 5. it's just an hour less, but the less i have to be there, the happier boy i am.
things that occupied my time during treatment: blissing out to Donna de Lory's "The Lover and the Beloved" (Donna was one of Madonna's longtime back-up dancers), reading "A Single Man" by Christopher Isherwood (tom ford just made this into a movie, but i want to read the book first), listening to Wanda Sykes' "Sick & Tired". and a lunch visit from my good friend Earnest who's visiting from Minneapolis.
So far no sickness...but i'm super pooped tonight. i barely have any interest in reaching for the clicker for the tv, so you know i must be tired. i guess it's gonna have to be another marathon night of golden girls.
i'm hoping it doesn't last too long though, my boo is coming in from LA on Wednesday....I'm so excited my tail is wagging.
till next time...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Death to the Wound Vac
Hi Everyone,
I want to thank all of y'all for your kind words of encouragement, messages, phone calls, etc...it really means a lot to me and really helped me get through this past week. If I haven't responded yet, I will shortly - I'm still playing catch up.
Anywho - today I finished my last 2 finals of the semester : Lit & Research and Exercise Physiology. What a relief! I definitely am not interested in trying to start chemo during the last few weeks of a semester. Fingers-crossed that won't be an issue ever again.
So I feel super lucky, the horrendous side effects I was expecting weren't so bad. It was actually pretty manageable. Aside from a bit of queasy-ness for 2 or 3 days, the worst was just being super exhausted. It's been a week and feel like I'm somewhat back to my normal energy levels. Supposedly my hair should be falling out later this week, but I buzzed my head a week ago to take care of that situation. In fact, I'm kind of digging how it looks. very butch/military. woof! lol.
Another huge relief was having the wound vac removed from my inner thigh last Friday. One of the spots where I had a lymphoma removed was not healing correctly and ultimately got infected. It landed me in the hospital for several days during thanksgiving week (when I was supposed to be in LA...grrrr). The only way the hospital would release me is if I let them attach a little machine that essentially created a vacuum on the wound to keep it free from bacteria and suck out all the bad stuff. Horrendous. But I guess we suffer for beauty. Having it on for a week and a half wasn't too bad...but I sure am glad that it's off.
Now I guess it's a waiting game until my next treatment on the 28th of this month. I'm getting some bloodwork done tomorrow where they check all my blood platelet levels, white blood cells, etc. On Thursday I meet with a nurse...I guess she just makes sure that I'm not falling apart and that all my vitals are good and strong.
Soooo.....so far so good! Keep sending the good vibes, I feel them working.
Love,
Stephen
I want to thank all of y'all for your kind words of encouragement, messages, phone calls, etc...it really means a lot to me and really helped me get through this past week. If I haven't responded yet, I will shortly - I'm still playing catch up.
Anywho - today I finished my last 2 finals of the semester : Lit & Research and Exercise Physiology. What a relief! I definitely am not interested in trying to start chemo during the last few weeks of a semester. Fingers-crossed that won't be an issue ever again.
So I feel super lucky, the horrendous side effects I was expecting weren't so bad. It was actually pretty manageable. Aside from a bit of queasy-ness for 2 or 3 days, the worst was just being super exhausted. It's been a week and feel like I'm somewhat back to my normal energy levels. Supposedly my hair should be falling out later this week, but I buzzed my head a week ago to take care of that situation. In fact, I'm kind of digging how it looks. very butch/military. woof! lol.
Another huge relief was having the wound vac removed from my inner thigh last Friday. One of the spots where I had a lymphoma removed was not healing correctly and ultimately got infected. It landed me in the hospital for several days during thanksgiving week (when I was supposed to be in LA...grrrr). The only way the hospital would release me is if I let them attach a little machine that essentially created a vacuum on the wound to keep it free from bacteria and suck out all the bad stuff. Horrendous. But I guess we suffer for beauty. Having it on for a week and a half wasn't too bad...but I sure am glad that it's off.
Now I guess it's a waiting game until my next treatment on the 28th of this month. I'm getting some bloodwork done tomorrow where they check all my blood platelet levels, white blood cells, etc. On Thursday I meet with a nurse...I guess she just makes sure that I'm not falling apart and that all my vitals are good and strong.
Soooo.....so far so good! Keep sending the good vibes, I feel them working.
Love,
Stephen
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Update
Hi All,
As some of you may or may not know, 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with stage IV, high grade, Large B-Cell Lymphoma. Since I'm so awful at responding to communication these days, I thought I would start this blog so that all who are concerned can keep tabs on how things are going. These past few weeks leading up to the beginning of my treatment have been such a whirlwind, that I'm pooped already when the "party" has barely begun.
I started my chemo treatment this past Monday, the 7th. It was about 6 hours of being hooked up to an IV and getting all sorts of odd things pumped through my veins. Luckily they have all sorts of pre-meds and aftercare meds that help limit all the common awful side effects you hear about. I woke up this morning feeling like I was hit by a truck and a little queasy. After I took my medication though, that all went away for the most part for the rest of the day (except for a rather embarrassing incident at Target that was truly a scene out of "The Exorcist").
I will be getting chemo treatment every 3 weeks, 6 times, for a total of 18 weeks. My finish date is 3/25/10...
Overall, my medical team is optimistic about my response to treatment, and the general prognosis tends to be around 75% success. Taking into consideration that I'm a physically fit, active, healthy, strong guy everyone seems to feel that I should respond well to treatment. It definitely seems like it will be a battle, though, and I intend to be every part the little soldier.
A big shout out to everyone who has been so supportive so far and has witnessed my roller coaster of a life the past few weeks. I truly appreciate it. It's probably been the most surreal experience I've ever had and is truly baffling.
And to everyone who has emailed me, or called, over the past few weeks with words of encouragement and well wishes, and I haven't responded yet, I have not forgotten...once my finals are over this week(yes, amidst all this I still have to crank out 5 finals, arghh) I'll have a chance to catch up on my correspondence.
As one of my favorite drag queens says..."If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else. Can I get an Amen?"
love,
Stephen
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