O.M.G.

Hi All,

All I have to say is Oh...My....God. I had my 3rd chemo treatment last Thursday and it totally kicked my butt. A lot. Absolutely miserable.

It was so deceptive. I went in, had a great meeting with my oncologist. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and was super ready to conquer another treatment.

Almost immediately I could tell that something was different. Man, this time around, I could barely keep my head up it made me so weak. I would've loved to sleep through the whole thing, except I ended up having my own personal summer and started dripping in sweat. I felt bad for the infusion nurse. They're always so concerned about you being comfortable, passing out snacks, drinks, etc. Well, every time I fell asleep, he would swing by with warmed up blankets which would make me get drenched in sweat. I almost wanted buckets of ice to put my hands and feet in. The nausea also kicked in almost immediately as well. My family brought in Schlotsky's for lunch, and let's just say I probably will never have a Schlotsky's sandwich every again. Blechhhh!

I also couldn't get how everyone else was just chillaxin' and looking like they were getting spa treatments and I was this hot, sweaty mess. I'm sure next time they'll have to put me in a room so I don't freak out the other patients.

The whole thing was really discouraging, especially since I had been able to handle my last 2 treatments like a breeze. Now when I think about going back, i get sick to my stomach. It's really scary. My infusion nurse told me it'll probably keep getting worse.

This past week was also a challenge...I was pretty much in bed non-stop for about 6 days. I did manage to make it to school for 2 days, and looking back, I don't know how I pulled it together to make that happen.

Anyways, I'm 1/2 way through my treatments, but I am really concerned about making it through the next 3. When I went for a checkup yesterday, just driving into the garage made me super ill just thinking about it. But, the oncologist nurse has come up with a great plan that includes extra nausea medication, a re-hydration IV the day after, and a strong prescription for atavan. I"m keeping my fingers crossed that this will help.

In 2 weeks, I have a CT scan to see if treatment is actually working. I'm trying super hard not to think about it. My medical team doesn't anticipate anything showing up on it and have been super positive, but there's still a part of me that questions what happens if they continue to see lesions and cancerous cells. Oh well, I have 2 weeks not to think about it, then hello xanax ;-)

Thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, and texted the past week. I know I haven't been able to respond right away to everyone, but I want y'all to know that your messages definitely have not fallen on deaf ears.

Till next time!

xoxo