Friday, January 29, 2010

O.M.G.

Hi All,

All I have to say is Oh...My....God. I had my 3rd chemo treatment last Thursday and it totally kicked my butt. A lot. Absolutely miserable.

It was so deceptive. I went in, had a great meeting with my oncologist. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and was super ready to conquer another treatment.

Almost immediately I could tell that something was different. Man, this time around, I could barely keep my head up it made me so weak. I would've loved to sleep through the whole thing, except I ended up having my own personal summer and started dripping in sweat. I felt bad for the infusion nurse. They're always so concerned about you being comfortable, passing out snacks, drinks, etc. Well, every time I fell asleep, he would swing by with warmed up blankets which would make me get drenched in sweat. I almost wanted buckets of ice to put my hands and feet in. The nausea also kicked in almost immediately as well. My family brought in Schlotsky's for lunch, and let's just say I probably will never have a Schlotsky's sandwich every again. Blechhhh!

I also couldn't get how everyone else was just chillaxin' and looking like they were getting spa treatments and I was this hot, sweaty mess. I'm sure next time they'll have to put me in a room so I don't freak out the other patients.

The whole thing was really discouraging, especially since I had been able to handle my last 2 treatments like a breeze. Now when I think about going back, i get sick to my stomach. It's really scary. My infusion nurse told me it'll probably keep getting worse.

This past week was also a challenge...I was pretty much in bed non-stop for about 6 days. I did manage to make it to school for 2 days, and looking back, I don't know how I pulled it together to make that happen.

Anyways, I'm 1/2 way through my treatments, but I am really concerned about making it through the next 3. When I went for a checkup yesterday, just driving into the garage made me super ill just thinking about it. But, the oncologist nurse has come up with a great plan that includes extra nausea medication, a re-hydration IV the day after, and a strong prescription for atavan. I"m keeping my fingers crossed that this will help.

In 2 weeks, I have a CT scan to see if treatment is actually working. I'm trying super hard not to think about it. My medical team doesn't anticipate anything showing up on it and have been super positive, but there's still a part of me that questions what happens if they continue to see lesions and cancerous cells. Oh well, I have 2 weeks not to think about it, then hello xanax ;-)

Thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, and texted the past week. I know I haven't been able to respond right away to everyone, but I want y'all to know that your messages definitely have not fallen on deaf ears.

Till next time!

xoxo

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Yawn

I was doing so well for a couple of days. I was out there doin' it, but today after getting my head freshly shorn, I completely dropped out. After lunch I felt like I got hit by a ton of bricks and quickly realized, whether I liked it or not, that it was naptime.

Naptime=4 hours

But everyone should be proud...I'm listening to my body instead of fighting it. There's always tomorrow to get things done.

Speaking of which, I mentioned in my last post about a new bump under one of my armpits. I decided to go ahead and make an appointment to meet with my oncologist tomorrow. I was thinking about it and thought it was weird that it would present itself when the point of chemo is to prevent these sort of occurrences. So that's on the agenda for tomorrow.

Also, my best friend texted me today about Michael C Hall, one of my favorite actors, currently on "Dexter"(which I'm obsessed with). Apparently he has lymphoma...but I can't find any specifics on what type. But nevertheless, the news I could find was encouraging and bolstered my confidence that my treatment will work. He's in remission and by all accounts has beaten it.

I'm super eager to start school next week. It'll be nice to have something to occupy my time. I've also been sending out inquiries for internships at local hospitals and specialized personal training facilities that cater to medical exercise, disease management, cancer survivorship, and cardiac rehab. It's a little late in the game, but hopefully I can get hooked up with a great mentor and start gaining some practical experience.

4 hour naptime=reward

reward=a pan of brownies

with that being said...i'm signing. those brownies won't bake themselves and the sooner they're done the sooner i can begin an oink fest.

xoxoxoxo

Friday, January 8, 2010

BRRRRR....

it's cold in here...must be something in the atmosphere...i said brrrr....oh we oh we oh...ice ice ice

it's so freakin' cold in Austin. it's just not right. i'm definitely "california dreamin".

so it's been about a week and a half since my 2nd treatment and everything was pretty much the same as the first. the only thing that's really different is that i'm a lot more lethargic than i was the first time around. it's very frustrating, especially since i feel like i need to build up my strength again before my next treatment. my only goal for tomorrow is to go to the gym - whether it kills me or not.

i found a new lymphoma lump in one of my armpits. it's super tiny and hasn't grown much in the past week...so we're taking a "wait and see" approach since chemo's goal is to shrink it. it's really not worth having to go through another surgery. it was still kind of a bummer to discover it though :-( but i'm trying to stay optimistic, especially considering that my PET scan revealed 2 other lesions that have yet to present themselves, which shows that treatment is doing something right.

things that help nausea: anti-nausea medication (yay for modern science), hot tea, anything with ginger (ginger pills, ginger snaps, ginger ale), spliff (the miracle answer to nausea and loss of appetite).

in the past week i've received all these hand-knitted hats from various people....lol. i think it's super funny. for the next 3 months i'll be wandering around with craft projects on my head. i love it, though. it's totally appreciated...my noggin does get cold.

had the best Xmas/New Year's present ever, which lasted a week...a visit from someone special. i couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year. we ate, slept, visited the LBJ Library, ate, slept, saw Avatar in 3-d on an Imax screen, ate, slept, ate, slept, saw It's complicate, ate, slept, watched Little Miss Perfect marathons, ate, slept. it totally took my mind off of everything.

i have one more week before school starts up again...which i'm really looking forward to. it'll be a good excuse to get my tooshy moving again.

thank you to everyone that's been checking in on me. the next "event" is scheduled for 1/21.